I only wish I were able to control my emotions all of the time, but it's not only my own emotions that I need to control. If it were only my own then I would indeed be a powerful source likely all of the time, however the energy required to control my own and the impact others emotions have upon me, is so very tiring, leaving me totally fatigued the majority of the time. It effects everything in my life, everything I do and everyone I see. The more honest and real people are with themselves and others, the more positive energy they carry and the less they drain away my energy. Similar to mathematics Positive energy + positive energy = Bigger more positive energy It is sadly the negative energies others have around me, that try to suck the love right out of my soul. For example if my positive energy is at 5 and I'm around 4 people who have negative energy of -2 each, then Positive energy 5 + (4 x negative -2) is 5 + (-8) or 5 - 8 = (-3) So around 4 negative people